Not much of a post tonight as I have just been beaten up by charity loving people on Facebook who when I mentioned that charity is demeaning, well they all disagreed cos it's sooo good for volunteers and also that it is good cos it humbles one when one receives an act of charity. Get me a bucket. They wouldn't know the fucking meaning of humble. They got their bottom lips out and pouted. I typed a huge reply to help them understand but then lost the lot before I posted it. So I have been weeping with frustration as I don't have the wherewithall to type it all again. Fortunately one person who didn't trip up on their bottom lip wrote a huge reply that may just pull them out of their dogooder fantasies.
The link is http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/WHO-Adelaide-Community-Assist/110236545687860?ref=ts if you are interested. In case you can't get into Facebook here is the text of the person who defended me.
I would suggest many of us here have not been on the recieving end of 'true' charity (and I use the term 'true' in relation to Glenda's point). We all wish to be 'good' people with kindness and compassion in our hearts and living lives that make the world a better place for all. However, in our quest to make the lives of others better we overlook ... See morethe very people we originally set out to help. By that I mean that we become so consumed with our own ideals that we sometimes forget to stop and ask the people we are trying to help whether we are ACTUALLY helping.
I would like to believe everyone is capable of kindness and compassion to others. That we all strive to make the world a more equitable palce to live. That we do help others, not because we are looking for thanks or acknowledgements, but because we see that something needs to be done, someone needs an extra hand. We need to do this however with the understanding that the very people we are wanting to help actually want that said help in that particular way.
The examples that have been presented here are different in varying degrees as some are from friends who know friends and what they need. I think the point that needs to be established is that for some people, their ideas of helping actually end up patronising the people thay say they are helping.
Charity has many definitions, to be caught up on just one overlooks the bigger picture, but to not listen to other views in relation to 'help, aid, activism etc' is to go against everything charity stands for.
Perhaps we all just need to stop, listen and take more notice of things before we make ourselves feel better because we helped someone else. This obviously doesn't apply to every single situation but I hope it makes us all take an extra moment or two to assess the situation.
Thanks Glenda, as someone without a disablilty, you've made me think a bit more about things :)